Want
To want something is one of life's simplest goals
I started the search at a young age
Dressed in cotton candy bows, lace and ruffles
Then it was simple desires
For I wanted a new doll to whirl around with
Crying out in glee over the excitement of my toy companion
Never allowing her plastic highness to leave my side
Fearing the thought of existing without her
Though I had done it before she came to be my other half
Then came the time when hormones cursed through my veins
My body changing to match the plastic curves
I had youthfully in innocence played with
Thoughts bumbling and jumbling what sense I used to have
Now I wanted everything and nothing to do with love
To be loved my someone and to be without him too
Unable to discern which I wanted completely and unabashionately
Selecting solitude because it was easier to cope with myself
Rather than my complex self plus one
Maturity seemed to be upon me finally
I had taken pains to quest for more knowledge
Felt the throws of enlightenment upon me
Understanding that was ready to love and be loved
Share myself completely without reservation
Exposing my maskless self that lay in waiting
The security was shattered by a kiss
Your kiss took me unprepared and made me question what I wanted
So I've pulled myself away from you quickly
Leaving you fleeting, confused and unsure
Reverting back to wanting nothing of love
Preferring the agony of self-imposed isolation
Over the notion of finding eternal completion with you
Making me question just what the fuck I want!
sv
posted by sue_sue | Monday, February 28, 2005
2 Comments:
hi Susan!
I enjoyed reading what you posted here, and following your thought patterns of what you have thought to be important at various times in your life.
I have a few suggestions:
a) What about capitalizing "highness" - As I was reading this line I was on highness and almost past it when I realized in what context it was used. By capitalizing it, perhaps that would happen prior to. I like that line: "Never allowing her....side." You've captured the picture well - the age when dolls demanded attention.
There is no word,"unabashionately" to my knowledge. Could you be thinking of "unabashedly"?
I'm curious to know why you didn't use any punctuation because I think it would add much to what you have written, and the reading of it.
I agree with the other comment posted - "fuck", in the context of what you wrote is a blight (my opinion I know).
I'm intrigued by "Preferring the agony of self-imposted isolation/ Over the notion of finding eternal completion with you". In those two lines, the pendulum swung about as far to each extreme as possible. I think I'm intrigued by this because at my age (I know, I know, I'm no fun because I'm as old as dirt), I could not possibly imagine any human being able to give me "eternal completion", even though I think I know what you are meaning.
Thanks for the post Susan!
Ladies:
thanks for reading and enjoying my poem! It means alot to see that my garbled emotions are able to reach out and touch you =)
I used the word "fuck" for a number of reasons. I knew that when it came from my pencil to the paper that it ruined the flow of the poem. But as a shallow response it was how I felt at the time when I wrote the poem...you know that contrived feeling of anger or frustration that is best encapsulated by a profanity? That feeling is even more contrived because you know that by swearing you are lowering your credibility as a poet and a person because obscenities only act to mask the intellectual insecurities that exist beneath the surface. Plus the word to me expresses the exasperated feeling that I was trying to convey at the end of the poem.
About the lack of punctuation...I truly don't write poems with any. Maggie, you should check my post entitled "Extacy", where Sidd comments on the same thing. When I write a poem I just let it flow, my line breaks are denoted either by skipping lines or backslashes after the words. I tried to add punctuation after typing it, but felt that it was cheating my creativity and my style.
I totally confess to making up words sometimes! It is a problem that I have and I just can't seem to help it =) Most of my poems contain at least one word that really just doesn't exist or shouldn't be used in that context. What can I say? But Maggie your word correction has been noted and shall be considered.
"Preferring the agony of self-imposed isolation/ Over the notion of finding eternal completion with you" is truly the explanation of polar opposites in terms of feelings. To be with the muse of this poem would be like finding my other half and being able to spend the rest of my life with him. Completion in the sense that I find peace in his arms, and would love to grow old with him. But I'm just so afraid of getting that close to someone again. So I know deep down that I'm not ready for that level of commitment in my life right now. Being with the muse wouldn't be fair to him so I've pulled away from him and fallen into isolation.
Hope these comments have shed some light on the poem...
sv
Post a Comment
<< Home